At some point in your life, you’ll need to give a toast. You might get advance notice as a Maid of Honor or host of a retirement celebration. Here’s a secret about toasts: The best ones come from the heart. Try not to worry about being eloquent or memorable or meaningful gifts for boyfriends on valentines day—focus on letting the person or people you toast know they matter.

Sometimes it’s easy to know: You’ve been asked, you’re in a wedding party, you’re the host of a gathering. But sometimes, the gathering is less formal. The host of a dinner might start the meal by toasting the guest of honor or the group. If they don’t, guests can suggest a toast to thank the host—or wait until after the main course is over to raise a glass. In a gathering, read the room. Is there a good reason to grab everyone’s attention? Can you do it without changing the mood of the event?